Couchsurfing- It Takes a Dose of Trust

When Todd and I share with our contemporaries how from time to time we host complete strangers in our home for overnight stays – free of charge – via Couchsurfing, we usually get a blank, disbelieving stare.  While the Couchsurfing platform connects more than 14 million people world-wide, the average age of a Couchsurfer is about twenty-eight.  When we share our experiences with them, our peers are usually hearing about Couchsurfing for the first time.  The blank stare from our 50-something year old friends is usually followed by them asking us, “How do you know they are not going to kill you in the middle of the night?”  I have to admit to them that I guess I really don’t know for sure. But in our experience, with careful consideration of who we accept for a stay, we have found participating in the Couchsurfing community to be a completely enriching experience.  (Click here for more information about Couchsurfing.)

While listening to a podcast the other day, I heard a fascinating interview from a few years ago with Rachel Botsman, who along with Roo Rogers is the author of What’s Mine is Yours:  The Rise of Collaborative Consumption.  She built a very compelling argument for the unmistakable and growing importance of the sharing economy and responsible consumption that has been fueled by the technology/communication revolution and has exploded globally:  think car-sharing platforms like Uber or Zipcar; peer-to-peer lending sites like Lending Club; fashion platforms like Rent the Runway; sites like Neighborgoods that provide a platform to borrow tools and kitchen appliances from your neighbors; and of course, home-stay sites like Airbnb and Couchsurfing.

Certainly the explosion of these collaborative sharing sites is driven by the advent of big data that connects service providers with consumers via individual platforms.  But the point Ms. Botsman makes, quite eloquently, is how the technology and the sharing economy itself actually operates on what she calls “a currency of trust” as well as, “reputation” which she defines as, “the measurement of how much a community trusts you.”  She even expands her idea to include what she calls “reputation capital” which she predicts will one day be even more important than an individual’s credit score as currency. As I listened to Ms. Botsman’s interview, her words completely validated our personal experiences with Couchsurfing and other sharing platforms.  Her book and corresponding remarks about the importance of the sharing economy are a few years old, but they resonate now more than ever as the market for such services has only increased in popularity.  (For a deeper dive on these ideas see her TED Talk here.)

Couchsurfing is a worldwide community that connects people who are willing to share their homes, or at least their time, with travelers who need a place to stay, or who are interested in meeting and spending time with locals during their journey.  Hosts are not allowed to charge fees for lodging.  Todd and I joined the platform about three years ago while living in Washington, DC.  At the time, we were planning a lengthy trip to Europe in the coming months, and I was researching budget lodging options when I came across a reference to Couchsurfing.  I immediately loved the concept and signed us up.  Todd…well, he eventually suspended his disbelief, and based on our experiences has become an enthusiastic advocate.

Much like Airbnb and other home-stay platforms, Couchsurfing revolves around members setting up an online profile using biographical information, personal pictures, and by sharing their interests.  Through a process of verification and written comments about their experiences with others, members expand their profile and develop their reputation.

When we originally signed up for Couchsurfing, my intention was to use the platform as an occasional lodging option while we traveled in Europe.  We immediately began hosting travelers in our DC apartment to grow our profile and reputation within the community.  You know – we wanted a profile that looked to others like we were NOT the kind of folks who would kill them in the middle of the night.  As it turned out, while we have hosted and met many travelers over the years, we have never ‘surfed ourselves.  The trip we took to Europe followed no set schedule.  We knew where we wanted to go and what we wanted to see, but followed no particular timeline.  We would often decide on the fly that we were ready to move on to another place with only a day or so notice to arrange transportation and lodging.  I hesitated to send Couchsurfing requests on such short notice.  I’ve never accepted last-minute requests, and don’t really know if I’d necessarily want to stay with those folks who would be willing to accept mine.  I wouldn’t want them to skip washing the sheets before I arrived because they didn’t have time – right?

Our first Couchsurfers were three college kids from the Czech Republic.  They had spent their summer working as servers at resorts in Michigan and Rhode Island, and were traveling around the U.S. before returning home.  They spent one night with us in DC and were wonderfully engaging kids to talk to.  I was surprised at how little money they had managed to make over the summer.  By the time they had paid the company that arranged placement for them, repaid their travel costs to the placement company, paid for their visas, and paid for their room and board while working, there was really very little left in their pockets.  It didn’t seem to diminish their enthusiasm for their adventure, however.

As I took them around DC on a one-day sightseeing whirlwind, I genuinely enjoyed learning about them and their lives at home.  One of them had just graduated from university with a degree in statistics.  I remember asking him what his plans were – was he excited to get a job and get out there and start “adulting” once he got home?  I’ll never forget his reply because he explained to me – very matter of factly – how he had no real options for finding a job in the Czech Republic.  The girls chimed in to add that having a college degree really didn’t matter, because there were no real job prospects at home.  The two girls were still in college, but all three of them clearly did not see their degree as a means to an end.  They were just marking time in university until university was over.  Maybe, they mentioned, if they could find a way to get a job in Germany they would have a future.  What struck me during this conversation was how these three young people weren’t upset or frustrated about their economic straits or necessarily striving for any change.  It just was what it was.

Another ‘surfer we hosted that I will never forget was a strange little man from Florida.  He’d spent the summer hiking in upstate New York and was making his way home via a stop in DC.  I have the good fortune to work from home, which makes me more comfortable as a Couchsurfing host.  I don’t have to leave my house with strangers in it while I’m away at work all day.  The problem with this visit was that this man never left my house either.  We had two full days of POURING rain.  He had been to DC on several occasions, and there was obviously nothing he necessarily wanted to see again that was worth going out in the weather.  So there he and I were…all day….together….in my little apartment.  He was quite a talker except when it came to what he did for a living.  He had “retired” in his late 30’s and had “gotten by” since then.  We watched a lot of news programs together.  Even though I had control of the TV remote, I had a hard time owning some of my normal rainy day viewing habits for this stranger to judge me by.  He didn’t need to know that I can easily lose several hours to a Law & Order SVU marathon.

Finally, on the second afternoon, I handed him the weekly neighborhood newspaper that listed nearby events:  lectures at American University and other spots around the city, special events and tours at the National Cathedral, author talks and book signings at local bookstores, gallery events, etc.  Luckily he found something that piqued his interest:  The National Heritage Fellowships which are lifetime honors presented to master folk and traditional artists by the National Endowment for the Arts.  The program was being held that evening at GWU and the tickets were free.  He insisted we ALL go to the program, and while I tried my best to beg off, he was having none of it.  So I called Todd at work and explained to him how we would be going out in the rain to see a world-renowned oud player when he got home that evening.

The oud is a pear shaped string instrument – much like a lute.  It is popular in Middle Eastern countries, and has been around for more than 5,000 years.  The oud player who was honored that evening, Rahim AlHaj, is originally from Iraq.  I found myself mesmerized by his playing of an instrument that until that afternoon I had never heard of.  It was beautiful.  But more than that, his story was captivating.  As an accomplished artist and musician, he’d been persecuted in Iraq for his political activism.  Arrested more than once, he spent time in prison being tortured by Saddam Hussein’s regime.  He told the story of always crossing his arms and tucking his hands under his arms during torture to keep his tormentors from breaking his hands or fingers during the sessions.  He eventually made his way to the U.S. as a political refuge and became a citizen.  Rahim worked as a dishwasher and security guard before being able to re-establish himself as a world-class musician.

The entire evening was filled with engaging artists, their stories, and performances or examples of their work, such as a ladies quilting bee from Alabama, several singers, a Slovakian straw artist, a Japanese classical dancer, and many more.  Now looking back on it – Todd and I always recall this particular night as one of our favorite evenings we spent during our time living in DC.  This program was something that would have otherwise stayed completely off our radar if our Couchsurfer friend from Florida hadn’t been so insistent we all attend.  We would have missed something very special.  (Find the complete list of artists honored here.)

We once hosted a deaf couple from California who came to visit their daughter to surprise her on her eighteenth birthday.  The husband read lips fairly well, but the wife and I communicated via messages on a notepad or through texting at each other while standing in the same room.  They were a very sweet couple who brought their own instant oatmeal packets along with them for breakfast each day.  I generally share any meals we are having with our Couchsurfers.  But instead, each morning, they would make their way to the kitchen to eat their oatmeal, then very carefully clean up their dishes before making their way to their daughter’s school to spend the day with her.  Unlike the strange little man from Florida, they left the apartment all day only coming home in the evening after dinner.  Delightful guests!

Above all others, our favorite Couchsurfing guest was from Iran.  He was a delightful, engaging, and extremely articulate young man who we immensely enjoyed getting to know.  I found it fascinating to talk to him about his experiences.  When traveling as an American there are times when you might just hope to keep your head down and be mistaken for a Canadian.  But, I had never taken the time to think about what it must be like to travel the world with an Iranian passport.  We loved his stories:  the hoops he had to jump through and the endless bureaucracy he navigated to get visas, and how – regardless of how much preparation he may do – he might still be turned away at a border and denied entrance to a country. How Iranians, barred from the international banking system, traveled the world without a credit card for things like car rentals, hotel and airline reservations, etc. and, of course, we enjoyed hearing about his family and his life growing up in Iran before leaving the country to study abroad.   We discussed politics in Iran and the U.S., current events, international relations, pop culture, movies, and what a crazy idea it was that Donald Trump would ever become president.   (I’d very much like to revisit that topic with him now!) We enjoyed several meals that he cooked for us over the course of his stay, and were very sad to see his visit come to an end.  Thanks to social media and email we are still able to check in with him from time to time, and I hope to meet him again one day.

I can honestly say we have only had positive experiences with Couchsurfers in our home, but there are some things to keep in mind before jumping into Couchsurfing:

• Personal Safety:  Like any relationship, you should not stay in a situation where you don’t feel comfortable and safe.  There have been reports of robberies and even assaults although they are an extremely small percentage of all Couchsurfing connections.  But if you meet someone and it feels off, get out of the situation.  I personally would probably not ‘surf as a solo traveler nor host anyone in my home alone.  There is always more safety in numbers.  I would also think twice before hosting with small children in my house.  Sometimes we are too quick to think we know someone well because we know them digitally.  Read profiles very carefully and even read between the lines if necessary.
•  Home Safety:  The sharing economy necessitates a mutual trust in each other and an expectation of good behavior by each individual.  But take the time to carefully think about what a stranger coming into your house could mean.  When we got ready for our first ‘surfers to arrive, it occurred to me that the room where they would be sleeping had a closet with shelving that served as our “medicine cabinet.” I quickly removed all the prescription medicines – leftover oxycodone, etc.   Todd usually keeps his wallet in a bowl in the kitchen, but brings it into our bedroom when folks are ‘surfing.  Likewise I don’t leave pieces of jewelry out on my dresser, and I’m also conscious of what I do with my purse around the house.  We’ve certainly never had any type of incident, but it’s better to consider the possibilities and be safe rather than sorry.

Couchsurfing has been an incredibly enriching experience for Todd and me.  With some careful consideration, the connections you can make and experiences you share by ‘surfing or opening your home to Couchsurfers can last a lifetime.  It can be an extraordinary way to explore new cultures and enjoy the world in a completely different way – without even leaving your house sometimes. For Todd and I, the Couchsurfing slogan completely rings true:  “You have friends all over the world, you just haven’t met them yet.”